Every time I leave, I check if all electric appliances are turned off and close all the windows even though I live on the fifth floor. Several times it happens already that I go back home and check if I did all those things. I can’t stand myself anymore, fearing that I might have forgotten something working in the apartment. I am afraid that maybe I will cause a fire one day, and all flats around will be affected. Then I have to kill myself …
Checking OCD can be a nightmare, and you need to treat that. From your story, I can see that you either haven’t sought treatment yet, or it’s an ineffective one. Of course, you can follow some methods to help checking OCD symptoms. Learn more about ERP therapy and try doing it yourself as a start.
You are right. I haven’t sought treatment before. I am also a little worried about why my checking fears worsened through the years. Even my flatmate started to notice and asked to talk with me about it. I will read more about ERP, and I hope it can help me.
I wish you the best of luck in case you start ERP. If you stick to it, it will most likely help you. I just wrote a few tips for living with others when you have OCD, so feel free to check them out.