Originally published at: OCD After a Breakup: How to Cope and Heal
Please note: The information on this page should not be construed as medical advice, nor should it be used to diagnose or treat any condition. The content on this page is written by recovered OCD sufferers, not by clinicians. Read More Always consult a qualified mental health professional and do not take any action based…
I recently broke up with my long-term partner, and now I find myself in a dark place. My anxiety has worsened, and I don’t feel whole anymore. I understand it is for good because we realized we were not compatible. Nevertheless, I miss the comfort of having her in my life. Maybe hearing that someone with OCD who has gone through the same will make me feel better.
First, it’s a good sign that you understand that you were not compatible and decided to end it. You have to accept that you will feel empty for a while, but eventually, you will move on. Changing the environment and starting new hobbies will ease up the process. Also, more therapy sessions will improve your OCD symptoms too. You got it mate 
What helped me before was changing my habits and lifestyle so that nothing reminds me of the past moments. I also remember spending significant time at the gym. Eventually, you will meet new people who might make you feel better too.
Thanks, buddies. I am already kind of better than a few days ago, but obviously, it will take some time. I like the idea of changing my habits and eliminating most things that remind me of this person. That would be difficult as we were together for a long time, but I will figure it out.
Hey Ben, I am sorry to hear about your breakup. I am happy that you are willing to continue with your life and discover new things you like. May I know what type of OCD you suffer from? Maybe then I can give you more specific advice for coping with it.
I suffer from harm OCD, and the thoughts I’ve had this month were bothersome. I start to recover and be the same nice guy my friends say I am little by little. I will be happy to hear your advice as well.
There are no cool OCD subtypes, but Harm OCD can be one of the most challenging. One of the things you can try is restructuring your thoughts. For instance, if you have thoughts of harming others, ask yourself whether you hurt somebody before. Most likely, this havent happened intentionally, just like we all haven’t done any harm to others with the intention to.
I have never hurt anyone intentionally before. It’s so ironic that everyone around me considers me a kind-hearted person who won’t kill a fly. At the same time, I am afraid of harming someone one day. Asking myself that question often enough will most likely help me. 
It’s mostly super kindhearted individuals who have those intrusive thoughts about harming others. Tell that the world is not full of irony then. Remember that those intrusions have nothing to do with reality, and you will be OK, mate.
I’m almost tearing up when I feel overwhelmed with those thoughts sometimes. However, I know things will be alright, especially after talking with other kindhearted people like you, William. I can’t thank you enough for standing by my side.
You don’t need to thank me, Ben. I have been in a similar situation before and can assume how you feel. I can also add that you should not stay much with yourself when you feel sadness and pain but do something instead. Volunteering is a good idea to contribute and meet new people as well.
I haven’t thought about volunteering before, but the idea is excellent. The problem is the area I live in - it’s somewhat rural here, and I haven’t heard of many associations. However, I will ask around for a sure mate.
If you can’t find anything suitable, you can look for problems in the area and try to solve them. Find assistance if possible. I feel thrilled when I do something good for others, and it definitely helps when feeling low.
Your comment sounds logical, and probably I should find something to work on. The issue is that my creative side is currently missing, so I probably need to ask around and see what work needs to be done.
No worries, Ben. It happens with all of us, and talking with others helps generate better ideas, so you are on the right path. Remember that you are doing it for yourself also.
Absolutely. Thank you so much, guys. You made it way easier for me to deal with the numbness after my breakup and find inspiration again. I also learned a lot of new things about myself and will continue to improve.
I always believed that hard times are coming to teach us and change our direction in life for good. I am beyond happy to hear that your situation is under control now. Also, it’s excellent you learned new things that might benefit you.
There were a few famous sayings that hard times are here to build our character and teach us resilience, the ability to appreciate the good, emphaty, and so on. Even though I am in a better place now, I would be bored if everything was good and unproblematic all the time.