Originally published at: Retroactive Jealousy OCD –
Retroactive Jealousy OCD: How to Stop Obsessing Over Your Partner’s Past Do you find yourself constantly obsessing over your partner’s past? Do you worry that they have been with other people and that they may have had better experiences than what you have shared? If so, then you may be struggling with retroactive jealousy OCD.…
I have most of the symptoms listed in the article about retroactive jealousy. My mind can stop obsessing about my partner’s past. I am constantly asking her questions to make myself feel better, but I always fear what the answers could be. Also, what if she is not telling the truth? It started impacting our relationship, too, and I need help.
All those concerns you mention are useless at this point because of past events you are worried about. I am afraid that the more similar questions you ask, the more distant and frustrated she will become. I think that you need help from a specialist at that point.
You mentioned that you feel that way about your current partner. Is that the first time you are obsessed about sb’s past, or has it happened before? If it’s the first time, there might be some underlying reason that makes you so uncomfortable.
I am really confused. It has happened before, but it hasn’t been that disturbing. I am not sure whether there is an underlying reason. Sometimes I don’t even want to think more about what the issue might be but prefer to be alone.
Try to write on a list of paper the objective reasons why you feel like that and the subjective ones. That way, you will more easily determine if there is a genuine reason for your concern.
Fair enough, I just did that a couple of minutes ago. The subjective reasons seem to be more, but there are also some objective ones. I’m still confused and don’t know what to think anymore. Maybe it would be great if I stopped thinking for a while.
It got complicated even for me. Give yourself some alone time and focus on something that makes you happy instead.
I was actually planning to do the same. I decided to use my phone and computer only for work for the next month and spend more time outside. I will be away for a while and will miss you all, but I hope I will return a little different person.
That sounds fantastic, and I feel a little jealous right now. I wish I could leave away everything and relax for a couple of days, but it seems impossible with all the emails and calls I get daily. Even if I cut the communication with people from my personal life, it won’t be enough.
Ok, I succeeded for around two weeks, but I feel energized now and ready to work hard till the Christmas holidays. I think you need to try the same thing as I did. I am almost sure you won’t regret it.
I will try that, Neo. I am slowly burning out and failing to enjoy many things I previously did. I need some recharge to get back on track. 
You will get back on track, mate. You are among the most inspiring people here, so please continue supporting the new members and us. Dip a few times in the sea or lake if you have nearby, and you will be brand new.
Let me start at the shower on the coldest level possible. 
I can’t go to the sea now, it’s too cold in late September. Otherwise, I came up with a few solutions for not burning out and will share soon if they work.
If September is cold, I don’t know about the people who do it in January. Cold water dipping has many health benefits, such as boosting the immune system, clearing the skin, and weight loss. Moreover, it gives you a great sense of tranquility and calmness.
Yeah, and many people die from freezing every year. Maybe I got it from my childhood, I was overprotected. Now, spending even a few minutes in too cold makes me think that I will get sick.
You probably won’t get sick, but if you fear it too much, start slow or don’t do it all. Also, you were overprotected child, and now you are an adult who can take risks and try new things from time to time.
I will do something about it this winter. You are correct that it’s not the end of the world if I try something risky and new, even if its effect is just refreshing my mind.