Hello guys, I’m a 22 years old woman, I got here because I am desperate and it affects my life in a way I could have never thought it would. I used to be (and like to believe deep inside I still am) a carefree person who loved the wilderness more than anything in this world. I was in the woods all the time and had no fears whatsoever, I used to explore the most dangerous places, at all times of day and night, and loved every second of it. I’m studying forestry and I’m on my way of becoming a forest ranger. This rabies bullsh!t made me the exact opposite of what I was and what I stand for.
Last winter I had an unfortunate experience with what might have been an exposure to rabies. I got my shots and I thought I’d get over it but no - I went batsh!t crazy. I got to the point I constantly think that I’m stepping into rabies virus everywhere I go, I’m not kidding. I’m afraid of carrying it into my house and then contract it somehow if it gets into a cut or my eyes or something. I live close to a forest and every stray cat that I used to feed and pet now makes me dread they might have rabies and I’m afraid of even walking where they walked or touching what they touched. I even started closing off my porch with protective net because stray cats always come and sit here and it makes me extremely anxious knowing they might have the virus on their paws or drool there and then I touch it and I’m doomed. I constantly wash my hands and everything I think has touched surfaces with rabies and I even fear for my boyfriend’s health because he’s not crazy like I am and doesn’t take any (unnecessary most probably 
) precautions.
I am at my wits’ end and I don’t know what to do anymore… Please… I need help and I don’t have the money nor the time for it, and I used to take anxiety and depression pills but I hate the thought of taking them again because they make me sexually impaired and that is a very important thing for me. So I’m stuck here in a state of constant torment with no relief…